Monday, December 20, 2021

Attempt to Express the Inexpressible Gratitude

 

This is my favourite Mudra of my First Master Pujyashri Parthasarathi Rajagopalachariji (July 24, 1927 - Dec 20, 2014). This picture was taken when he just concluded Meditation by saying ‘That’s all’ perhaps in Pune in 90s. One can feel the radiation of the deep Compassion and profound Love with which he is looking at his flock and humanity at large.

I started Sahaj Marg on March 23, 1990 at Hyderabad, India. I was introduced by a brother called MS Padmanabhan who was a guard in Indian Railways known to me. Shri Dr. Subba Rao was my Prefect who introduced me into the Mission with 4 Introductory-Meditation sessions. Within a month Dr. Subba Rao used to constantly tell me that I need to go to Chennai and meet Master at the earliest and also used to say, “Krishna, never leave His feet in your life.” I took it to heart. I was in the way of exploring various Gurus and Missions as a part of my inner quest to find my answers to innermost queries that I had a LOT that were bothering my mind at that time. In that spirit I decided to meet him and found an opportunity also. This was the Celebration of Babuji’s Birthday at Jaipur, Rajasthan on April 30, 1990. I reached Jaipur by April 27, 1990. Master was staying in the Palace and abhyasis were waiting to meet him where he was expected to sit. I was also waiting for him to come. I never had any idea of how he looks like as I have not seen any of his photographs. I only heard something about him from Dr. Subba Rao. I had no other acquaintance but him in the Mission.

He finally arrived, a towering tall personality, well-built, charismatic, and holy at the same time, his face radiating bright light, his presence mesmerising. He has not yet talked. He came and sat on a chair. I was sitting nearby but only looking at him with awe and wonder… no thoughts, no questions, not feeling like talking, a deep inner silence as if all my questions that were bothering for years were absolutely silenced or it was as if I found instant answers without his talking to all my queries spontaneously. There was immense peace experienced within that I never experienced before and my heart instantly was wedded to him and said, “Your search for something stops here and just be with him.” And when I heard him talk, I was floored by the Lion like voice that had tremendous Conviction, Clarity, Content, Wit and humour and the spiritual power to penetrate into and transform any heart with great ease. Naturally my heart committed itself to him; I had no choice; and decided that this life is for him and him only from this instant. That was my profound First Exposure to Beloved Chariji. And that great moment, that profound state of awe and wonder continues to unfold even now. For me this moment is as fresh as it happened today. And this is the moment that is carrying me still and has been protecting me in the turbulent periods of my spiritual career. I have been associated with this Master from 1990 to 2014 physically and of course eternally in the spiritual sense.

Ever since April 27, 1990 when I had the first Darshan of the great Master, my life has taken great turn. It was not the same and constantly improving in a natural way. He fixed my engagement with my better half Ramani, an abhyasi too in the Mission and solemnised our marriage on April 30, 1993 at Babuji Memorial Ashram, Manapakkam, Chennai. He named my son and daughter as Radhakrishna and Nalini. He gave me the opportunity of translating the Sahaj Marg literature into Telugu which still continues ever since 1992. He has been a great Protection in so many ways in my spiritual career. He allowed me to publish a book compiled by me (and supported by my dearest Brothers Ulhas and Shareef) titled “HeIS” that he liked very much. The book was released in July 24, 2004 at Thumukunta, Hyderabad. He also released another book compiled by me titled “Fire Eternal” during a Bhandara in Tiruppur. He approved my decision of taking to Voluntary retirement in Sep 2007 and said “ My blessings”. And I am experiencing his blessings very vividly. Made me a Prefect on Dec 16, 2012 at Manapakkam, Chennai. He also acknowledged my other compilations and expressed that they be preserved for possible future-printing titled “Pearls from Deep Within”, “So you see…”, and “Divine Showers”. He made me a member of Editorial Board for Sahaj Marg literature (in Telugu) in 2012. Approved backdrops designed and conceptualised by me for various Bhandaras of the Mission. The concepts were, “Serve to Deserve”, “He IS”, “Consume yourself and illuminate others” and “We should work All as One.” He also permitted me to be a faculty in the Centre for Research Education Sadhana and Training (CREST, Kharagpur) and allowed me to organize Telugu Training programs during 2011-2013. He has also permitted me to translate the Whispers from the Brighter World messages into Telugu in 2013.

His association physical, mental, emotional and spiritual through his Presence, his teachings, his Work trained me unconsciously on the various aspects and traits of my personality and Character and laid a great foundations in me that are slowly manifesting with the blessings of Pujya Daaji under whose guidance my training and my spiritual pursuit continues. All my training was more indirect than direct. He was gracious enough to answer a few of my personal letters to him that changed my life’s orientation.

I longed for a personal relationship with him physically as a student/disciple which I feel has not happened. Though my First Moment was driving my spiritual pursuit, I had some disappointments with him in some way or the other because of my lack of necessary understanding that I now feel. I was especially annoyed when he apparently used to pamper certain people when there were more people who were ready to die for him, I felt. But the tremendous training that I am benefitted with outweighs considerably more than the disappointments. And now all the disappointments are also dissolved after Daaji shared the pain that Chariji has undergone in his lifetime.

And towards 2014, when he was seriously ill, my heart started feeling the pain of separation and the worry that I could not complete my spiritual journey during his time gripped me. It was unbearable and could not share it with anybody. That is the time I was blessed with a dream where Pujya Chariji hugged me and said, “I know you are a hard worker.” I said, “I want ONLY you, I desire nothing else.” To this he said, “it shall happen, don’t worry.” And handed over me to Revered Daaji. It was an effortless smooth transition that I never expected happened later after his Mahasamadhi on Dec 20, 2014 at Chennai. A renewed spiritual consciousness took over me and is still unfolding in front me under the guidance Beloved Daaji whom I have accepted heartily as My Gurudev that I used to address Pujya Chariji in my correspondence. And my journey thus continues…

 

 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Religion not opposed to Science

 Religion not opposed to Science "In the opinion of the house, Religion is not opposed to Science." I participated in the debate c...